Welcome to my brain

My first post was still in Dutch, which most of you can’t read I guess. So I decided to just post my first thing again, but this time in English, of course.

So, here you are. You lived your whole life, and now you’re here, in this moment. You’ve survived all those years and did all those things, thought all those thoughts, loved all those people and learned all those things. Where are you proud of? If you look back at your life up until now, don’t you think you have lived a really good life? Yet, there is missing something, life isn’t what you hoped for, and you’ve waited so long for the beginning of your Real life, you keep searching for this ‘something’, but there’s nothing more than this, the universe gave you this, not too much, not too little. With that realization taken in mind, that your Real life has already started, would you enjoy more? Sometimes you have the idea that you understand your life completely, you know what you have to do, how you’re going to do that and who you are, everything suddenly seems so clear, but that are just moments. You have to let go of the feeling that you have to understand everything in life before you can enjoy your life, because you will never understand everything, we don’t understand anything. The only thing we can understand is that we can enjoy while were living, if there comes another life, if all this has a purpose, we will never know. Believing isn’t knowing, believing could be just an illusion, but why not enjoy an illusion? I prefer believing in something that could be an illusion than knowing that everything is better. A friend of mine said the other day ‘You don’t need a purpose of life to make your life meaningful’. I totally agreed with that, even if there is no purpose of life, your life was still meaningful, because you didn’t just survived, you really lived your life.

 ‘Those who move forward with a happy spirit, will find that things will always work out’

Love & Peace

The fear of being forgotten

‘Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark on the world, but the marks humans leave are too often scars.’ – John Green – The fault in our stars

John green is a genius, he’s so amazing that I’m almost drowning in his infinite wisdom. But this post isn’t about that, of course. I recognise myself in this quote, I insist on changing the world in a good way, I want to be noticed by the universe, as John Green explained poetically in his book. What if my footprint on this world is a scar? Maybe we don’t care, because we were noticed by the universe, even if it was in a bad way.

We want to be remembered, we want to know our lives had a purpose, that we were born for a reason. We all want to be special so bad, that being normal is becoming the new special. And maybe not trying to change the world is a way to change the world. Maybe it is better to let the world be the way it is, because even if we try to change the world in a good way, it often turns into a scar, and the world already has enough scars.

I guess we are afraid of being forgotten, because if we are forgotten, we get the idea that our life was useless. And maybe it is, but we’ll never know. What if our life really is useless, would you want to know? I don’t think I’d want to know. I’d rather believe in something that may not be true, than knowing everything is useless. Ignorance is a blessing, sometimes.

The other way around is the same thing. We are afraid of forgetting. My boyfriend is currently in Denmark, I’m in Barcelona, Spain. And even though I know it’s only for a week and a half, (how the hell do people do that with long distance relationships??) I’m afraid to forget him. Not afraid to not miss him or to fall out of love with him, but afraid to forget the sound of his voice, his smell, the feeling of his lips pressed to mine, the way his hand fits into mine. I already feel the memories of him fade away, just a little, even though I know I’d remember those things again the moment I’ll see him.

But I know I’ll never forget the way we love each other.

Maybe I won’t change the world, not much anyway, and maybe he won’t either. Maybe we won’t matter that much to the world, but we do matter to each other, and that’s worth something too, right? Maybe at the end, my life didn’t mean so much to the world, but it did mean something to the people I love, and that’s enough for me.

 

Love & Peace